More than 11 years ago, Carey Portell was involved in a four-car pileup involving a drunk driver, which left her partially disabled and a 75% wheelchair user. Throughout the past 11 years, Carey, a Missouri cattle producer, has faced her struggles head-on and openly. Following the accident, Carey began attempting to return to her life as she had previously known it through physical therapy. However, the transition to her new body and abilities was a difficult one.
“I wanted things to go back to normal, but I had to realize my situation was never going to leave me,” explained Portell. “I had to learn to change what I can but to accept and adapt through what I can’t control. After the accident, there was a lot that I could not control.” So much in agriculture is outside of our control: weather, markets and trade, etc. With that lack of control comes a sense of frustration, pain and struggle. Carey explains that the struggles we all go through in agriculture relate to her struggles of recovering after the accident.
While it can be easy to look at Carey’s story and think what we are going through does not compare to the devastation she faced, our struggles can affect us similarly. “Pain is pain and struggle is struggle,” said Portell. “This may be the hardest thing in your life to date. Remember you don’t have to go through this alone.”
As Carey was working through her recovery, she discovered the beauty of having a community of people supporting her. She explains that she was having difficulty adapting to her new body, especially on the farm. AgrAbility, a USDA-funded program supporting farmers and ranchers with disabilities, was one of the key steps in her recovery. They began focusing on ergonomics and her mindset to help her think with her new body instead of despite it.
AgrAbility’s website states, “The activities of the AgrAbility program demonstrate the ability of extension services to respond to local needs and make a difference through collaborative partnerships. Perhaps, most importantly, they illustrate how much we can collectively benefit by providing opportunities, expanding boundaries and making it possible for people to hope.”
After her accident, Carey could have given up on her agricultural goals; however, with the help of her community and AgrAbility, she continued physical therapy on the farm. Her time without the ability to do that showed Carey that she was a person who needed a purpose and craved contribution and accomplishment. Farming became a way for her to help address not only her physical health but also her mental health.
While adapting to the change in her physical health, Carey began to learn the importance of taking care of her mental health. “Before my car crash, I didn’t talk about the vulnerable side,” explained Portell. “But being forced to accept and adapt in my recovery changed that.” Discussing mental health can be difficult for everyone but the more conversations are had surrounding it, the more beneficial it is for the rural community. Currently, there are more articles written, more podcasts recorded and more talks at conferences focusing on rural mental health than in previous years. These conversations, combined with the resources that are available to farmers and ranchers, are fantastic and a step in the right direction.
However, more beneficial than those is farmers and ranchers speaking about their struggles and sharing their own stories. Carey started sharing her story of working toward physical and mental health as a speaker on stage at multiple national events. She also authored a book, “Facing Life Head On: Healing with Courage, Gratitude, and Attitude,” which discusses her accident and her road to recovery. While sharing your story may not involve taking the stage in front of thousands, or writing a book, it can still be incredibly beneficial to the agricultural industry.
“Farmers are not the only ones that suffer from isolation and poor mental health,” explained Portell. “But spending 16 hours a day alone in a tractor can definitely make you feel that way.”
Sharing your story can be as simple as letting your neighbors know they are not alone. It can look like talking about the hard stuff. It can be asking if someone is all right and being there if the answer is no. Discussing mental health can be scary, but it is doable.
“My biggest obstacle to sharing my story is myself,” said Portell. “I like my private life to stay private. I had to realize that it is acceptable and necessary to share portions of my life with people. Me opening up allows others to feel comfortable opening up to me.”
The more conversations that take place on stages, the internet, in magazines, but most importantly in person—in fields, trucks and side by sides—the more the stigma surrounding mental health will continue to shrink. No one has it all together, regardless of what social media portrays. It is ok to not be ok and to struggle. That is universal. It is not ok to think you are alone in that struggle.
To lead those conversations and address the stigma surrounding rural mental health Carey recently took on a position with AgriSafe as a communication specialist. The non-profit organization was founded in 2003 by rural health professionals to protect the people who feed the world. AgriSafe strives to reduce the risk of injuries, diseases and fatalities through the effective delivery of agricultural occupational health services.
While there are things outside of our control in life and especially in agriculture, we can control our actions. Choose to talk to your spouse, neighbor or friend. Choose to seek out resources that are available to those within the rural community. Choose to fight through the struggles in your life with the grace and determination that Carey Portell displays in her story. Most importantly choose to accept the things you cannot control and adapt. Carey’s motto applies well to us all, “choosing a life you want out of the life you were given.” — Michelle Bufkin Horton for the Red Angus Magazine
